Basically, everything you hope to find in a van all wrapped up in one sick, sick specimen: a grotesque paint job, a 4-rung ladder, a luggage rack, a back door-mounted spare tire cover, running boards, about 30 or 40 unnecessary and over sized windows...

AND!!!

the ultimate, the sickest bell-and-whistle amenity, the holy grail of sick van aficionados, the piece de resitance...


MINI BLINDS!!!!

Despite its lack of a few desirable characteristics normally found in upper echelon sick vans--mismatched paint/mild-to-moderate body damage on at least one (1) panel; a creepy, older dude in the driver's seat; any instance of duct tape--this looks to have at least a puncher's chance at Van of the Month.

Though it's still early, this is your leader in the clubhouse.